Too much money

Good morning everyone:


With the Iowa caucuses just around the corner, all the talk in the news and NPR (yes some of us still listen to it) is of the candidates: their respective rankings in the polls and how much money they've raised and spent on the election trail thus far. Upon hearing this news I became slightly ashamed. Not from my lack of knowledge of all of the candidates or their policies, but of how much money we as Americans are wasting in this process. I love this country, and anyone that knows me can attest to that fact. I still get tingles from hearing the Star Spangled Banner. But, the process by which we elect our leaders is almost ridiculous. The whole process is not set up to pick the best person for the job, but to pick the person who can convince enough rich people and/or companies that he'll do what they want.

This election is already the most expensive campaign in the history of the United States. This coming at a time when many Americans are losing their jobs to outsourcing, their homes to foreclosure, are in debt, or are working until they are half in the coffin because they can't afford retirement. Don't you think that this country would be better served by candidates setting examples by finding ways to make their money go further, or better yet, if it didn't cost anything at all to campaign!

What if we took those millions of dollars candidates are spending on television adds hocking Christmas or smearing their opponents, who may well become their future running mate, and put it to some good use. The money could go to feed, educate and house homeless people. Or go into some kind of tax break for businesses who stay in America. Or even go into education funds, so that we can not only pay teachers what they should be paid, but make it affordable for anybody to go to school without incurring a ridiculous amount of debt. The posabilities are endless.

I know what a lot of people are thinking reading that. That money helps fuel the economy. It goes to the media which helps with advertising, which helps with manufacturers, which helps with jobs. BULL! Yes, taking money away from the media may in the short term effect this years revenue stream for the media, and potentially some other jobs down the line. But it is time to stop looking at the short term people. This nation, as great and wonderful as it is, is killing itself, and possibly the rest of the world with our short-sightedness. With the programs that could be funded by these campaign funds, all of our futures would be brighter.

The transition wouldn't even be so difficult. For all of you who haven't noticed yet, the face of elections is changing. Just like the advent of TV, the internet will soon become the primary medium for discovering who our next leaders should be. Once that happens, or as it is helped along, candidates wont need as much money for campaining anyway. Obviously they will still need some, and a good amount because there are still visits to the states. I don't want to take those visits away, because you can only trust what you read to a certain degree, but we could do with less annoying commercials that the general public doesn't really listens to anyway.

Let's also not forget that this would also balance out the playing field. There are great candidates out there who would be the best thing to ever happen to this country that no one knows about because they don't have millions of dollars to pay for advertisers and campaign managers to put them on the air. I'd rather have a leader who is intelligent, decisive, articulate, and penniless than one who is friends with some billionaires. But that's just me.

Winter Woes

OK, this is going to be a really short one. What is wrong with people?!?!?! For those of you that don't know, I live in Michigan. And what do we get in the winter months here in Michigan? Snow. that's right people, it has been happening for your entire life in the Midwest. Or at the very least before you moved here from some sunny, cloudless haven, you heard that it snows here. So why is it such a surprise when a "snowstorm" hits? And I use the term snowstorm loosely. anyone who has lived in northern Wisconsin, or anywhere near lake Michigan can tell you what real snow storm is. But, I digress. My real complaint is that people are surprised when a snowstorm, one which meteorologists have been predicting for a few days mind you, comes in and "dumps" five to ten inches of snow down over the course of two days. Now I'll admit at first the storm was really intense, almost white-out conditions, but that stopped being the case at around 11:00 am, and the roads were in pretty good condition by 5:00 Sunday evening. So why, I ask, are they announcing school closings Sunday evening when most of the snow has stopped and the roads are in good condition? But even this isn't my biggest complaint. No, my biggest gripe with people here in the wonderful land of Michigan is the use of snow as an excuse. Let me set something straight people. Just because there is snow on the ground, doesn't mean you can park like an A-hole. Especially, when you can clearly see the parking lines. I don't care if you get a little bit of snowbank on your car, park in the damn lines people! Also, for those of you with valid drivers license, if you have lived most of your adult life in the Midwest, how is it possible that you have not only passed your drivers test, but DON'T know how to drive in the snow?!?!?! I think there should be a mandatory duel licensing
one for summer and one for winter driving. Well that's my gripe for today. Thanks for listening.

The science of the men's room

I'm a traveler, not a professional traveler for the travel channel, although that'd be sweet, but I travel a lot for work. And one thing I've noticed on my travels is the proficiency with which men use the bathroom. Even in the busiest of airport bathrooms, there will rarely be a line for the men's room. And should there be a line, it moves with a regularity that makes the express line at the kwik-e-mart seem slow. Why? Because men have a code for the bathroom that can only be breached in emergencies.

Rule one, there is no talking allowed in the bathroom. This rule is important because it fosters an atmosphere of "get it done, and get out." This rule is only relaxed in emergency situations including a loss of toilet paper, heart failure, and opposing team taunting. And even in the special situations, words are kept to a minimum.

Rule two, begin the unzip process on approach to the urinal, and continue the re-zip process as you pull away. This small, but simple practice saves a small amount of time per user. However, when added together, it saves a lot of time and allows for the most efficient use of the bathroom stalls.

Rule three, a maximum of two shakes. Let's face it if you need more, you're not done peeing.

That's it folks. Three (four if you want to be picky) rules that allow then men's room to be among the most efficient places on earth.